Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Why is asking for help so hard?

I was recently asked this by someone else, and in answer to her question, I had no trouble coming up with lots of reasons. When it is me - well, that's different! Asking for help is tricky, I think because it is partly a pride issue and partly a misplaced humility issue.

Pride - we don't want to seem "the weakest link", we don't want to look like we aren't coping, we don't want to be a drain on others, we like to see ourselves as coping and helping others, not needing help to cope ourselves.

Misplaced Humility - we don't want to "bother" people, we don't feel we are "worth" troubling others about, so many other people's problems are worse than our little woes, surely we don't want to be seen to be making a fuss and feeling sorry for ourselves?

Both of these are wrong, I know it. I enjoy being able to help someone who needs it, whether it is with some medical information, a meal after being sick or having a baby, babysitting so people can get out. Yet, I feel embarrassed when I need to ask for information, need help after being sick or having a baby. I am reluctant to ask for baby-sitting "just so I can get out".

An odd double-standard is at work here in my subconscious.

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